Saturday, 4 December 2010

Sparkling in HD





I don't think they go the extra mile for the attention

Its definetly pschological for the self
Wearing a diamond will automatically make you think you sparkle
And its that thing of getting above yourself (and others) that seems to be it

But dirt = fun. you can't make a dish without creating a mess
Being "highly clean" it can't be anymore than an image, unless you have an underdog...
Hmm maybe a good reason to get married,
I always dread taking a shower in the morning,
maybe someone can iron my towel just as I'm done with the shower,
now that'll make me sparkle


Monday, 22 November 2010

Drainspotting









We’ve all seen train spotters eagerly jotting down train times and numbers. Now there’s a new phenomenon – the drain spotter. This new breed of obsessive travels hundreds of miles to photograph manhole covers.
Enthusiasts in Japan have sparked the craze, spending weeks hunting the nation’s 6000 uniquely designed covers. The discs were produced in the 1980s as an incentive for outlying areas to receive new sewer systems. Now the hobby has been documented by Briton in a new book called Drainspotting. It features 800 manhole covers.
Writer Remo Camerota researched them for three months before driving from town to town to photograph them. His work was helped by several manhole-dedicated websites.“Sometimes we would be arguing about a wrong turn and then stumble across a beautiful manhole, one which has been previously undocumented. Finding them is the best part, the whole time it feels like a treasure hunt"

Ice skating in Somerset House



Skaters enjoy the launch of the Big Ice Dance Workout at Somerset House in London yesterday. Beginners can take part in coached lunchtime dance warm-up sessions
from tomorrow

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

A good reputation is not power, but it is...



Does the royal family of Britain have any actual political power?


The British Monarchy has had its moments, there was a time, when the Monarch wielded more power than the Church of England, but in today's world, things are fast changing.

The royal family are symbols of Britain and the commonwealth, they represent our society, culture and history.

The Queen presents herself to open parliament and is the head of state and of the commonwealth.She does however still retain the power to dissolve parliament in theory but it is uncertain what would happen if she tried

Signs you're healthy

Fitness
A 30-year-old man with above average strength and fitness should be able to do over 25 push-ups in a minute and over 35 squats.

Vital signs
A resting pulse of around 70 beats per minute and a respiratory rate of around 16-20 breaths per minute don't make you an athlete, but they do make you a normal, healthy adult.

Stool
A good stool is torpedo shaped, soft and easy to pass. Colour can depend on what you've eaten, but it shouldn't generally be grey, very pale, too dark or bright red. A mid-brown stool, passed easily and regularly without any sudden change in bowel habits is one sign of decent digestive health.

Urine
A good colour is also a sign that your liver is working efficiently. A darker yellow probably just means you've been drinking less - drink more to avoid the symptoms of dehydration. But dark or red-tinged urine - or pee with a sweet or strange odour - can be a symptom of health problems.

Hair
In particular, healthy hair can be a sign of a healthy diet. Dull, dry and brittle hair can be caused by a lack or protein, vitamin E or essential fatty acids.

Tongue
A tongue with a warm, pinkish colour is one clue that you are absorbing sufficient iron, folic acid and vitamin B12. An overly pale and smooth tongue can be a sign of anaemia, while a yellowish tint can suggest fungal infection.



_

Friday, 20 August 2010

Domestic extremists

Police are gathering the personal details of thousands of activists who attend political meetings and protests, and storing their data on a network of nationwide intelligence databases.
The hidden apparatus has been constructed to monitor "domestic extremists", the Guardian can reveal in the first of a three-day series into the policing of protests. Detailed information about the political activities of campaigners is being stored on a number of overlapping IT systems, even if they have not committed a crime.

Senior officers say domestic extremism, a term coined by police that has no legal basis, can include activists suspected of minor public order offences such as peaceful direct action and civil disobedience.

Three national police units responsible for combating domestic extremism are run by the "terrorism and allied matters" committee of the Association of Chief Police Officers (Acpo). In total, it receives £9m in public funding, from police forces and the Home Office, and employs a staff of 100.

An investigation by the Guardian can reveal:

• The main unit, the National Public Order Intelligence Unit (NPOIU), runs a central database which lists thousands of so-called domestic extremists. It filters intelligence supplied by police forces across England and Wales, which routinely deploy surveillance teams at protests, rallies and public meetings. The NPOIU contains detailed files on individual protesters who are searchable by name.

• Vehicles associated with protesters are being tracked via a nationwide system of automatic number plate recognition (ANPR) cameras. One man, who has no criminal record, was stopped more than 25 times in less than three years after a "protest" marker was placed against his car after he attended a small protest against duck and pheasant shooting. ANPR "interceptor teams" are being deployed on roads leading to protests to monitor attendance.

• Police surveillance units, known as Forward Intelligence Teams (FIT) and Evidence Gatherers, record footage and take photographs of campaigners as they enter and leave openly advertised public meetings. These images are entered on force-wide databases so that police can chronicle the campaigners' political activities. The information is added to the central NPOIU.

• Surveillance officers are provided with "spotter cards" used to identify the faces of target individuals who police believe are at risk of becoming involved in domestic extremism. Targets include high-profile activists regularly seen taking part in protests. One spotter card, produced by the Met to monitor campaigners against an arms fair, includes a mugshot of the comedian Mark Thomas.

• NPOIU works in tandem with two other little-known Acpo branches, the National Extremism Tactical Coordination Unit (Netcu), which advises thousands of companies on how to manage political campaigns, and the National Domestic Extremism Team, which pools intelligence gathered by investigations into protesters across the country.


Denis O'Connor, the chief inspector of constabulary, will next month release the findings of his national review of policing of protests. He has already signalled he anticipates wide scale change. His inspectors, who were asked to review tactics in the wake of the Metropolitan police's controversial handling of the G20 protests, are considering a complete overhaul of the three Acpo units, which they have been told lack statutory accountability.

Acpo's national infrastructure for dealing with domestic extremism was set up with the backing of the Home Office in an attempt to combat animal rights activists who were committing serious crimes. Senior officers concede the criminal activity associated with these groups has receded, but the units dealing with domestic extremism have expanded their remit to incorporate campaign groups across the political spectrum, including anti-war and environmental groups that have only ever engaged in peaceful direct action.

All three units divide their work into four categories of domestic extremism: animal rights campaigns; far-right groups such as the English Defence League; "extreme leftwing" protest groups, including anti-war campaigners; and "environmental extremism" such as Climate Camp and Plane Stupid campaigns.

Anton Setchell, who is in overall command of Acpo's domestic extremism remit, said people who find themselves on the databases "should not worry at all". But he refused to disclose how many names were on the NPOIU's national database, claiming it was "not easy" to count. He estimated they had files on thousands of people. As well as photographs, he said FIT surveillance officers noted down what he claimed was harmless information about people's attendance at demonstrations and this information was fed into the national database.

He said he could understand that peaceful activists objected to being monitored at open meetings when they had done nothing wrong. "What I would say where the police are doing that there would need to be the proper justifications," he said.



---



Complaints against the police have risen by 8%, according to figures released by a watchdog.
The Independent Police Complaints Commission said there were 31,259 complaints in England and Wales in 2008/09 - up 2,296 on the past year.

But the data still means that over 600 complaints are made every week.

http://www.protestlondon.co.uk/
http://www.radicallondon.net/
http://www.activistrightsmanual.com/complaints-against-the-police.html
the British Crime Survey

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

What makes PicasaWebAlbums so good

ok the novels have moved for good to http://picasaweb.google.com/itsethan00

NOW YOU CAN
VIEW THEM
SAVE THEM AS A BATCH IN 2 SECONDS
transfer it to a different hardware, something portable preferebly
view them again..again?????


stay tuned I'll probabaly go back to the news articles





--

Once upon a time...

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

gaming - keeping it brief





a 2 player+ game
both are experts
both are in cooperation
and in competition
both review (insult) the other's behaviour

that is next gen


okay i'm going to update this later with a list of games that fall into this category
the obvious but not so obvious is a fighting game..but they're too fast; the behaviour is cancelled out the review is cancelled out
such a game I'd have to buy, complete, find a friend, upload
Warcraft could be an interesting choice...with uber gear while leveling (to prevent pressure from leveling rather than having fun). That could depend on the class and the ease of playing that class based on weapon and talent preferences. Teamspeak is already big so thats more points for it.



"In Warcraft, money buys happiness foo!"


i'll need to find out about a few other titles









--

Now STEALING oxygen!!!


list of programs can be found here

wikipedia







.

Monday, 12 July 2010

this piano is somthing else..




"see how they run"
like they're looking through the horizon
or
like they're actually looking at the horizon as they sing


*

Lady Madonna, children at your feet
Wonder how you manage to make ends meet
Who find the money when you pay the rent
Did you think that money was heaven sent

Friday night arrives without a suitcase
Sunday morning creeping like a nun
Monday's child has learned to tie his bootlegs
See how they run

Lady Madonna, baby at your breast
Wonders how you manage to feed the rest
Pa pa pa pa...
See how they run

Lady Madonna lying on the bed
Listen to the music playing in your head

Tuesday afternoon is never ending
Wednesday morning papers didn't come
Thursday night you stocking needed mending
See how they run

Lady Madonna, children at your feet
Wonder how you manage to make ends meet





.

nuns


there is something traditional to the Enya style that for a sec I thought was completely lost to Ireland. Enya isn't 100% authentic but its that small percentage of "nun-ness" that makes it believable and sellable. This show in tv brought to my knowlege that the small percentage of authenticity can be replicated, like sperm. I just hate it when people say 'they'll never be anyone like MJ..or Enya...Beetles...Elvis. Its that background and their history that identifies them and makes them produce something out of this world. Maybe I just found something I had to save..I mean share

4thought.tv
Investigating how important religion is to the younger generation in Northern Ireland, more than 10 years after the peace agreement. An 18-year-old who was raised in Catholic west Belfast reveals how she feels alienated by what she sees as the hypocrisy of the Church
Category General Arts/Culture Executive Producer Narinder Minhas







.

Thursday, 8 July 2010

Classy2

PNG




the image is also...ultraclear: Ad combi




Now compare to this image

JPEG







arrayny.com

qoutes



If you have too many people applying to do the same thing in the village its not a sign of improvement







Wednesday, 7 July 2010

blog like a CV



brandstrategy.wordpress.com

Nokia faces stiff challenge to stay on top

Although Nokia is the biggest mobile phone manufacturer, with a 36.4% market share globally, according to Gartner, it has lost ground in the smartphone market since 2007.

“Nokia needs to accept that it simply is not Apple. It’s not about trying to create replica handsets, but accommodating all the markets and innovating with different options. Nokia’s customers are not just smartphone buyers and it can’t forget that”

Costa Coffee targets city customers

Costa Coffee is ramping up its competition with Starbucks through the launch of an aggressive marketing push for its new “metropolitan stores”, which aim to fulfil the specific needs of city customers. The new-look stores will rival the “retro” stores that Starbucks has opened in cities such as London, and will offer special express queues, bespoke loyalty cards and free Wi-fi in store.

It will consist of outdoor, online, DM and in-store activity and aims to inspire Londoners to visit the ‘Metropolitan’ store whether it is to relax in its sinking sofas, conduct a business meeting around its large table or to grab a perfect cup of coffee on the run.

“Cities are hubs for business and leisure, and we feel the time is right to target these audiences with an offering that matches their personality and lifestyles.."


Artisit impression

Waitrose's brand ambassadors

Waitrose has revealed it is launching a branded range with its celebrity chef brand ambassador Heston Blumenthal.

Brand ambassadors are all the rage again, but at what point does a celebrity tie up stop being effective and become overkill?

Sainsbury’s has successfully leveraged Jamie Oliver and his cult following for the past seven years. He fronts the supermarket’s advertising campaigns, his recipes promote Sainsbury’s produce, he is an ambassador for its Active Kids initiative and his political agenda of improving the state of the nation’s eating habits fits in with Sainsbury’s own agenda for healthy eating habits.

Since March this year, Waitrose has been relishing a celebrity-fronted campaign with Blumenthal and national treasure Delia Smith.

Despite the current appeal of both these chefs to Waitrose customers and prospective customers, I’m not convinced the partnership has the same ring of longevity to it that Sainsbury’s has achieved with Oliver.

classy



Its not green
its Chartreuse (Shay rooz)

Sunday, 4 July 2010

News: rate of unemployment in UK for young men leaving college far outstrips that for women

Complacency and "general hopelessness" have been blamed for the failure of young British men as research reveals that underperformance in school and university is now creeping into their working lives. A report published today by the Higher Education Policy Institute thinktank says male graduates are far more likely to be unemployed than their female counterparts.

"When I talk to graduate recruiters about how impressive candidates applying for jobs are, I do pick up a sense that female graduates are a little more mature and focused, that they put together good applications," said Gilleard.
Gilleard, who will be speaking at the AGR annual conference this week, warned things will get worse for those without jobs when another cohort of graduates enters the market this summer. "The class of 2010 are competing with the class of 2009

The AGR has warned that a good degree is no longer enough to guarantee a career, saying that additional factors such as work experience and volunteering have become crucial.

Bahram Bekhradnia, the HEPI's director pointed to forecasts that suggest women will dominate the professions within 15 years. "That has all sorts of implications for things such as family creation, child-rearing and so on. The situation in some countries is even more extreme. An American woman told a conference I attended of the fury of black American women who found it impossible to form relationships with men of the same race with similar educational attainment because black American males weren't going to university.

"If you aspire to form relationships with people who have similar educational backgrounds then women will find that more difficult as this trend becomes accentuated."

But David Willetts, the higher education minister, said he was helping graduates by getting universities to provide "employability statements" about different courses.

Tuesday, 29 June 2010

hhmm

Sharing on the web, is it some kind of goodwill people do; like giving money to the needy, to feel good about yourself. yes. But whats more important: sharing for the goodwill of 'mankind' or self personal performance? Performance in this context relates to wellbeing, ability to do the same things and get better at it. Ofcourse each person goes online for themselves. To download something, to buy something. Then when does sharing come into the picture. This post is just out of spite; but it could also be an attempt to understand the issue: why we go online - to take for our performance, and then to give back? yes. But what if the giving doesn't work...as in no one looks at video vlog or downloads your sexy outfit or just it takes too long to develop the content; this brings about a new question: Do I abondon giving because based on the past its proved to be hopeless & just stick to taking; only concerned with my performance. Ideally, for someone with strong contacts outside the web can be selfish on the web. He or she could just use the web to enhance their outside social, domestic lives - only download. Never upload. Never comment

But no one can truely ignore, have no emotion have no thoughts about someone on the web. Another other thing is time. yes everyone has time to at least sleep watch tv eat. But is there sufficient for the web. If you go into a shop with a huge list, and you have like 2 minutes, you obviously won't get everything you need/want. Same thing on the web. 2 hours of free time and heres the list of things to do...I guess it just comes down to learning something in relation to ease and speed

Monday, 28 June 2010

top to bottom












I want to live in a world where a new day
...
means a new dawn



Where I can communicate
in new ways




And discover new worlds



I wanna live in a world
where I can dream new dreams, new dreams




A new chance
to meet new friends





Where we can be given new hope

Whats your brand? - South African accents (rude)
















We lick viva hey
I lick it a lot
I can't get enough
I'm licking her 24/7

Super sweet 16
Lacer (cool) party crazy birthday party...

In the head
Proper shave style

We really lick The Hills
Where my friends, we all lick it

You know what
He's got something to show you
Check it out

Dooo
Two and a Half Men

Sunday, 27 June 2010

hmmmm


The Ethical Slut discusses how to live an active life with multiple concurrent sexual relationships in a fair and honest way. Discussion topics include how to deal with the practical difficulties and opportunities in finding and keeping partners, maintaining relationships with others, and strategies for personal growth.

It contains chapters discussing information on handling scheduling, jealousy, communication, conflict in relationships, and etiquette for group sexual encounters.
DJ Hero 2


Sunday, 13 June 2010

Lyrics (missing wedding vows)







You wait up for me I don't wake up for you
Would you like the company or are you sick of me
When your love lets you go you only want love more
Even when love wasn't what you were looking for
Speak slow, tell me love where do we go... ah ah
Where do we go...ah ah, where do we go
Break down plead your case I don't know what to say
I leave my heart all this pain and now I'm at it all again
On these streets that I leave for weeks on end who's to blame
When you want love doesn't matter what you're looking for
Speak slow





Crushing all in it's path (x4)
And i know that we still got time
But i do not think we're invincible
And i think that there is a sign








Today this could be, the greatest day of our lives
Before it all ends, before we run out of time
Stay close to me,
Stay close to me
Watch the world come alive tonight
Stay close to me.

Tonight this could be the greatest night of our lives
Let's make a new start,
The future is ours to find
Can you see it, can you see it in my eyes
Can you feel it now, can you hold it in your arms tonight
Hold on
Hold on,
Hold on
Hold on (Tonight)
Hold on
Hold on

Oh stay close to me (Hold On)
Stay close to me
Watch the world come alive tonight
Stay closes me

Ooooooh
Hold your head high, (Hold On)
Arms open wide
Yea the world starts to come alive when you stay close it me

Today this could be the greatest day of our lives
Today this could be the greatest day of our lives

Oooooh
And the world comes alive
And the world comes alive
And the would comes alive
Oh oh oooooh
Stay close to me (and the world comes alive) hold on
Stay close to me (and the world comes alive)
Watch the world come alive tonight
Stay close to me (Hold on)
Oh stay close to me and the world comes alive
Stay close to me and the world comes alive

Watch the world come alive tonight
(stay close to me) oh oh ohoooo











I'm very disappointed in you
and I don't handle disappointment well
I'd like to say I could forgive you
But I can never forgive; just forget
Now it would take me ten long years to forget,
That's 12 months of the year
four weeks of the month
and seven days a week
Well that's a very tall order, I got to say--
I don't have that much time to FORGET
That's a whole lot of hard and lonely time
When we could be together

Husband with this knife
I do you adore
I take you out of ths world baby
with a lot of feeling
and with this feeling I do bestow upon you
all my wordly gifts
Honey wasn't it beautiful
the lovely time we spent together
It was SERENE
I will never forget you
Long as I live


"Do you take this man"


Husband, with this blade
I do you hold
I'll take what's mine
and let the future
keep the rest
Baby, I take you from this world
to my place
to a place of feeling
where I can love you
and we can be together
God I'm so grateful to be real with you baby
Lies are for a longer life
and I have got so much to say
Shut up!!!
Shut up!!!
Don't cry baby
I'm feeling better all the time--I don't
want to be angry, ok? I'm trying not
to do that, ok?

God I'm so disappointed in you!
Remember that drive
we talked about the wild thing
for 24 hours-7
while the dogs and the coyotes laughed
and the sun went up and down
and your rod went in and out
and the buzzards and the vultures howled:


"Do you take this man?"



The Sporting Life

In 1994, Led Zeppelin bassist John Paul Jones and Diamanda Galás sought each other out for a collaboration that resulted in this visionary rock album.

1. "Skótoseme" (music by Galás/Jones; Lyrics by Galás)
2. "Do You Take This Man?" (music by Galás/Jones; Lyrics by Galás)
3. "Dark End Of The Street" (Chips Moman/Dan Penn)
4. "You're Mine" (music and lyrics by Galás)
5. "Tony" (music and lyrics by Galás)
6. "Devil's Rodeo" (music by Galás/Jones/Pete Thomas; Lyrics by Galás)
7. "The Sporting Life" (music by Galás/Jones; Lyrics by Galás)
8. "Baby's Insane" (music and lyrics by Galás)
9. "Last Man Down" (music by Galás/Jones, Lyrics by Galás)
10. "Hex" (music by Galás/Jones; Lyrics by Galás)

Monday, 7 June 2010

Regular coffee


"Tell the PA I need a coffee.

No not regular no one drinks that anymore

Look I need a skinny quad cap, with caremel. Stirred dried not wet remember that cause I'm not repeating it"


pain and suffering

Charlotte Rampling has famously played a Nazi sex kitten


Charlotte Rampling plays Lucia Atherton, a concentration camp survivor who had an ambiguous relationship with Aldorfer. Flashbacks show Max tormenting Lucia, but also acting as her protector. In an iconic scene, Lucia sings a Marlene Dietrich song to the concentration camp guards while wearing pieces of an SS uniform...

(Marlene Dietrich was a German actress and singer)


Thirteen years after World War II, Lucia meets Aldorfer again; he is now the night porter at a Vienna hotel. There, they fall back into their sadomasochistic relationship.

(Sadism is pleasure in the infliction of pain or humiliation upon another person, while masochism is pleasure in receiving the pain.)


The film depicts the political continuity between wartime Nazism and post-war Europe and the psychological continuity of characters locked into compulsive repetition of the past. On another level it deals with the psychological condition known as Stockholm Syndrome.

(Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response sometimes seen in abducted hostages, in which the hostage shows signs of loyalty to the hostage-taker, regardless of the danger or risk in which they have been placed)


It also raises the issue of sleeper Nazi cells and their control... Simplistically it works on the level of two people in an uneasy yet inextricably bounded relationship but also that is very much in the context of the greater political malaise of the War and the many years following. It should also be noted that Cavani (writer/director) herself met several women who had survived the horrors of Concentration camps, and Lucia (Rampling) is not branded as jewish particularly probably to depict the plight of all women, and doubtless the pun on her name meaning light and St Lucia being the patron saint of the blind was deliberate also...

The film has been accused of mere sensationalism: film critic Roger Ebert calls it "as nasty as it is lubricious, a despicable attempt to titillate us by exploiting memories of persecution and suffering." Given the film's dark and disturbing themes and a somewhat ambiguous moral clarification at the end, The Night Porter has tended to divide audiences

Movie: Night Porter (Il Portiere di notte in Italian)

other pics of Charlotte Rampling late 60s

Obesity is good


























50 Cent has shed four stone in weight for his new film
The rapper, 34, normally weighs 214 pounds and is often seen shirtless, flaunting his muscles. Yet after nine weeks on a liquid diet, Jackson now weighs just 160 pounds, and appears gaunt.

07/06




"Oh grow up students

Regarding the news that students and graduates will be hit by cuts - I've no sympathy for pampered children studying until they're in their early twenties.

Every time workers have complained about cheap foreign labour taking British jobs and increasing unemployment, these same students called us fascists. Life's tough when mummy and daddy let you go"

Sunday, 6 June 2010

Christian Grrls

So, okay, my friend Kristie, she was sort of mentoring this Christian girl Erin, I mean, she was Baptist, for god's sake. I was like, "Oh my god! I just REEK of sin, because I suck guys, she's going to KNOW, she's going to HATE me." Then I find out she's SUCKING the YOUTH minister at her church!

I mean, the three of us, me, Kristie and Erin, we'd go to church every Sunday. Erin would roll this joint, and we'd smoke it, it was like 420 except it was like, 1020, and then we'd go in and sit way down in front.


Church is awesome when you are stoned, the music, the preacher... So he's going through these things, and I realize, I've DONE THEM ALL! YOU know, fornication, sodomy, adultery, (well, I'm not married but a few of the guys were) It was awesome!

So then there's this alter call, where you go turn your life over, and I'm getting up and Kristie grabs me. She's like, "Sit the fuck down, Jamie! What are you doing? God!" So she rescued me from the Fate Worse than Death, because if I got converted, I'd have to suck off the Youth Minister like Erin.

So, anyway, watch out for those Christian Grrls, you never know what you are getting into.

Love,

Jamie

PS, My Ex-roomie Jenny is probably the kind of Christian Girl you have in mind, you know, the Young Life, True Love Waits shit. Jenny is all legs, tits, and blonde hair and makes ME look like doggie-doo-doo. She married this guy she is getting ready to get divorced from, so then she'll be a Ruined Woman. You need a special category for EX-Christian grrls, oh my ghod!

PPS, The Youth Minister was kind of hott...

a friend betting that he could fuck the other friends daughter and then making his friend watch

Ray's a huge success with the ladies and shows off, telling Harry he can have any woman in the bar he wants, and they sometimes turn it into a bet.


Ray doesn't always win, but his success rate is high. Of course, he sometimes jokes that he wouldn't mind a go with Jessica, Harry's wife, and Harry's tempted to make it a bet, because he knows Jessica hates Ray and his womanising ways


Annoyed at losing big money bets, Harry finally puts his wife forward, suggesting that there's no way that Ray could seduce her. To his surprise, Ray declines the bet - "Sorry, mate, but she's out of my age range - You're ten years too late - I never fuck anyone over 30..."


"Of course, your Vicki's 18 now - And she's quite cute, for a bookworm... " Harry thinks about it - would his sweet, innocent, chaste, virginal, God-fearing daughter fall for Ray's smarmy charms? She'd always said she wouldn't have sex until her wedding night. Plus she heads the school's Purity League. She doesn't even date and shows no interest in doing so anytime soon, so Harry can't lose... right?

literotica by BlackDahlia

Saturday, 5 June 2010

Drama, real. like a soap

By the time Tressa Middleton was 11, she was already heading for disaster. She had been excluded from school for fighting. Then, it emerged that she was pregnant.

Tressa's baby was the product of a rape and the child's father - the perpetrator of the attack - was her own brother. Last year, Jason Middleton, then 19, was jailed for four years for the attack. He was 16 when it happened, five years older than his sister.



Until now, Tressa has 'gone along' with the Lolita tabloid version. Even her parents didn't know. "All those people out there think I'm some kind of slut, but they don't know how it really was," she says."I was about 7 when he started on me and when Jason first did it, I didn't know it was wrong. When I did, I blamed myself. He was usually drunk. Sometimes he bribed me, blackmailed me, to do it. He'd say he was going to tell Mum. He'd give me things - joints, drink, cigarettes. Or he'd threaten me." She doesn't know how many times they had sex, but it sounds like a regular occurrence. Jason's dreadful secret was safe while she was still too young to conceive.


Now, one would imagine that an 11-year- old girl falling pregnant should sound immediate 'abuse' alarm bells with doctors and teachers, if not with parents. In this case, though, there was a smokescreen. It has always been reported that the father of Tressa's child was another teenager, also called Jason, with whom she had sex on a drunken night out. This was partly true and this young man - Jason Cameron, who was 15 at the time, also pleaded guilty to having unlawful intercourse with a girl under 13. Tressa admits that liaison happened, and that she later lied about Jason Cameron being the father of her child. He always claimed that the dates involved made it impossible.


How did her parents react, then, when Tressa finally broke the news that her own brother was the father of her child? "I'll never forget her reaction. She said "you lying b*****d". She told me to go to bed, that I was drunk. Even when the DNA tests were done, my mum wouldn't have it. She wanted me to retract my statement. It has ripped the family apart." Her mother's stance has caused her to wonder about their whole relationship. In her darkest moments, she wonders if her mother even knew about the abuse.


The discovery that she was once a self-harmer somehow doesn't come as a surprise. The smoking started then, too. Cannabis not long after. Her mother knew? 'Yeah. She didn't care. She was drunk herself most of the time.'Tressa's story finds corroboration from some unlikely sources. The barrister representing her brother Jason on his rape charge tried to use the shocking home environment as a defence for the fact that he raped his sister.


She talks about appealing to the courts for access to her child, but in truth that may not happen until her daughter turns 18, by which time she will be legally entitled to trace her birth mother. The big question is whether, by then, Tressa can be the sort of mother a child would want to find. She says she is clean of drugs now, and has 'cut back massively' on the amount she drinks. She is now heading into adulthood in a new relationship, with a 24-year-old called Darren, who 'is the first man to treat me nicely'. She has career plans for the first time in her life, and is hoping to join the Army.